Tips For Making Your Second Marriage Stick

?Tips for Making your Second Marriage Stick

The thought of ever getting married again may be along way off for you if you just got divorced. However, if you are thinking of dating again it is never too soon to at least think of what would happen if you did get married again. The following is the stages of getting ready to make your second marriage more successful than your first:

Before Dating Again: You will want to make new friends and meet new people without any romantic expectations. This will be the period of time in which you take a break from dating and work on yourself. To help yourself, you might go to counseling, join support groups, and involve yourself in community service activities. You will learn during this time many new positive things, which you can bring into a new relationship. During this time you will also learn signs of unhealthy relating which you will recognize from your first marriage. Some of these signs you want to watch out for in preparation to date again include the following: secretiveness, selfishness, put-downs, criticisms, and other forms of abuse (physical, sexual, or emotional).

While Dating: You will take all the knowledge you acquired during your break from relationship during your counseling sessions and apply it to real life. You will be more in tune to the attitudes of the people you are dating, such as those who act as though they are better than you, or treat you coldly. Not only that, but you will recognize that it is not healthy to try to be with someone who clearly is not over the last relationship he or she was in. You may also notice inconsistencies in behavior, such as the person does not call you as often as you would like. Most importantly, you will observe how your date treats your children when they meet. Make sure you know if you can trust the person before you bring that person home to meet your kids.

Once Married: You will need to listen to each other and value each other’s opinions. Furthermore, you need to remember not to take each other for granted. Just think of how much you would miss that person if that person were gone from your life. In addition, you and your partner should always show each other affection every single day, and tell each other of your love for one another. Along with that, you will need to compliment each other. These could be compliments on your partners physical feature (even those without the perfect body) such as “You have a nice smile”, “I like the way you touch me”, or any other honest complement. Do not flatter your partner or you could damage that person, meaning, try not to make complements that you don’t mean just to manipulate that person in some way. It should be genuine.

When you are married, you need to find ways to communicate that will not hurt one another. For example start your sentences with “I feel…” instead of “You make me feel like…” No one can make a person feel like anyone. Own your feelings and do not put the blame and burden totally on someone else. If your spouse is trying to tell you something important do not interrupt that person. That is when the arguing starts-when two people do not want to listen to one another.

If you follow all of the above tips you should do fine. However, if you run into any trouble, you both will have to agree together not to give up. If necessary go to counseling or join a support group either together or separately. If you have waited long enough to date after your first marriage, however, your chance of having a successful second one increase.

One other secret to making your marriage stick is to give each other space. For instance, maybe one of you likes to go bowling while the other of you likes to do crafts. You don’t have to do everything together. In fact, it is recommended that you don’t. Otherwise, you could forget entirely about who you are and what is important to you. Giving each other space in your new marriage is just as important is spending quality time together.

Remember all of the above tips to help you in your new relationship. It will help you in years to come.

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